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Tag: Terrorism

Saddam Hussein Added To US List Of "Major Assholes" from December 19th, 2001
The name of Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein, against which the United States fought its 1991 war, was officially added to a list of "major assholes" outlined by the State Department. Iraq is widely susp...
Ridge Suggests Some Duck and Cover Bullshit from February 26th, 2003
This week Homeland Security Director Tom Ridge advised some ridiculous security precautions that you'd have to be both scared and gullible to accept. Ridge making trying to make himself look better a...
Hamas, Israel Well on Anti-Roadmap Roadmap from June 13th, 2003
The state of Israel and the Hamas terrorist group made remarkable joint progress today on the anti-roadmap to peace roadmap, including synchronous escalation of violence and mutual verbal denouncement...
Arafat to Pick Prime Minister from July 17th, 2002
Chairman Yassir Arafat is reportedly considering appointing a Prime Minister for the new Palestinian government. Arafat is however undecided on whether or not the new officer will retain an "of terror...
Terror Alert Lowered to Yellow from January 12th, 2004
Yesterday the national terror alert level was offically lowered to "yellow" from "orange". Secretary of Homeland Security Tom Ridge said, "Now that terrible specter has passed, we can all breathe a si...
Israel "Thinking Outside The Box" With Security Fence from June 18th, 2002
Yesterday Israel began its attempt to think outside the box by boxing in the West Bank frontier with...
Saudis Suggest Ending Violence from February 27th, 2002
Yesterday Saudi Arabian Crown Prince Abdullah suggested ending middle east violence...
Attempt To Destroy Philly Bus Terminal 4th Page News from October 20th, 2001
Inspectors found a suitcase packed with enough C-4 explosives to level the entire Philadelphia bus ...
Hamas Declares "War On War On 'terror War'" from December 4th, 2001
The terrorist group Hamas, which has claimed responsibility for this weekend's deadly suicide bombing attacks in Jerusalem, has said it is declaring war on Sharon's war on what he calls a "terror war....
Israel Kills Bomb-Maker; Can They Find Bomb-Maker-Maker? from July 1st, 2002
Sunday Israel announced it had successfully assassinated Hamas master...
Bush Says Flights Are Safe, USAF Can Shoot Them Down from October 1st, 2001
Speaking to a crowd of thousands of workers at Chicago's busy O'Hare international airport in an aim to boost confidence in the flagging airline industry, President George W. Bush assured Americans th...
Phillipines Threatens To Drop Lethal Weapon 4 On Rebels from June 11th, 2001
"Bullets will fall like rain," promised Fillipino President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo of the Abu Sayyaf rebels who said they have killed one of their three American hostages. The terrorists have taken h...
Settlers, Terrorists Agree: US Should Stop Its Harmful Meddling from June 25th, 2002
In a joint reaction to President Bush's speech Monday, Israeli settlers and Arab terrorists stated in parallel that the United States should stop its detrimental peace attempts for the Middle East. Bu...
Kerry Will Ignore Zombies in WOT -- Sources from May 15th, 2004
If president, Sen. John Kerry may de-prioritize fighting zombies as part of the war on terror, several sources allege. Critics blasted the shift across the media on Saturday. In an Op-ed titled "Kerr...
W. House to Re-Release Desert Storm with Added Terrorism Scenes from August 21st, 2002
In a bid to re-brand the war against Iraq as a part of the overwhelmingly popular War on Terrorism Trilogy, the White House has announced it will be re-releasing footage from the 1991 Persian Gulf wit...

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