TERRE HAUTE, IN -- A new study released by area bully Billy Thompkins has found strong links between not giving up your fucking change and getting your ass kicked real hard.
    Thompkins wrote in the study's conclusion, "We found that not handing over your change real quick led to a 99.95% chance of positive result with a .05 level of significance. This should be extremely compelling evidence to all you little nose picking dweebs to cough it up, or else."
    There has been a small backlash among academics who say the study is hopelessly biased. UCLA public health professor Robert Gemardiegan said, "Seeing as the researcher was solely responsible for the outcome of each trial, I can't see how this study proves anything." He later retracted his statements publicly after an alleged meeting with Thompkins and recommended that the scientific community hand over their coin currency immediately.
    Factors also believed to preclude major ass beatings are acting like a punk, making a shitload of noise and gettin' all up in my face.