LOS ANGELES -- With millions of Napster users now able to make high-quality copies of Aquilera, Spears' bodies, the RIAA is again pleading to a circuit court to shut down Napster for copyright infringement.
    How exactly the teen Divas' DNA codes were leaked out of the enormous secret underground RIAA laboratories where such artists are cultivated and harvested is still under investigation, but most experts agree that the damage is now irreversible.
    A small army of torch-bearing Christina Aquilera and Britney Spears doppelgangers has already been seen marching lockstep toward Washington, threatening to sing the government into a painful death. Recording Industry advocates have warned that this event was possible. "Imagine the army of a foreign power where each soldier was capable of deploying millions of albums to American consumers." said an RIAA spokesperson. "Such is the danger of society that condones businesses like Napster."