SAN FRANCISCO -- Barry Bonds hit his 599th home run today which is too bad because tomorrow he is going to die. Bonds is one mark away from being one of only 3 hitters to ever hit more than 600 which is one run he won't have time to make before his number is called.
    "It's a real shame he has been marked for death," said a mysterious cosmic planner. "None the less, the orders of the Cosmos cannot be denied. Or delayed."
    Planning experts say missing important life milestones is common before death. "It nothing to be ashamed about to miss a few important deadlines," said Rita Hemuson, a organizational consultant in Los Angeles California. She then added, laughing, "Do you get it? dead-lines? I crack myself up."