WASHINGTON, DC -- This afternoon President Bush announced that the US Treasury will again be altering the design of US Federal Reserve Notes: by stamping a large expiration date on the bill's face after which the bill will no longer be of any value. "I got the idea after spending a few thousand in Barnes & Noble gift certificates," explained the President, whom is the first US President to hold an MBA (Master of Business Administration). He said the move was an attempt to revitalize spending in a downtrodden economy.
    Government economists heralded a new monetary policy instrument: manupulation of the expiration period of money to control its supply, rather than targetting federal funds interest rates. Now, to increase consumer spending all regulators will have to do is make dollar bills expire in one week.
    "It will give new meaning to the term 'make a run for your money'," commented Vice President Dick Cheney.