BAGDAD -- Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein announced today that he was cancelling his subscription to the New York Times, despite several recent front page stories explicitly detailing secret US invasion plans on his nation.
    The despot said the tone of the paper's writing and extreme size of the volume no longer appealed to him. "The whole thing just sounds so pretentious," he explained. "Every article sounds like: 'ooooh look at me, I'm writing for the New York Times! My classmates at Yale must be sooo jealous.'"
    Hussein continued, "And the Sunday edition must be 300 pages! Do they think I don't have a job? Who has time to drool over a special pull-out section dedicated solely to Gore Vidal when there are issues of the state to be addressed?"