JERUSALEM -- Today peace was declared the longest running joke in the history of the Middle east, as thousands of laughing, beleaugered citizen/refugees of Israel, Iraq, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Libya and Syria erupted into spasms of laughter and starved to death.
   
    Archaeologists and historians are undecided about when the millennia-spanning prank's exact timeline begins. Some say it began with the Hyksos invasion of Egypt in the year 1700 BC, but others believe it started with the fall of Troy at about 1200 BC. Nevertheless, all agree the joke was reoccuring in social circles, royal courts and war barracks by Xerxes invasion of Thermopylae in the year 486 BC.
   
    Many scholars say the joke really "took off" with the foundation of Islam in the year 660 AD. "Before it was just a little giggle that would disappear and reappear every few centuries. Once a major competitor to Christianity was founded nearby you can bet that peace was the funniest thing on everybody's mind from that point on."
   
    Despite its extensive history, "that peace thing" is one joke that american lawmakers and diplomats just don't understand. An embarrassing incident occurred last month when US envoy Anthony Zinni found PLO leaders and Israeli cabinet ministers snickering behind him when he announced he was confident he would be able to find a peaceful solution to the current conflict.
   
    "Oh, we're not laughing at anything," said the ministers who were clearly laughing at something. According to onlookers, Zinni became flush and started stammering.
   
    "I really don't understand how this situation could be worked into any kind of piece of humor," said Sen. Foreign Relations chair Joe Biden (D-DE). He added, "which they just keep repeating again and again like it's a 1-800-COLLECT commercial."
   
    He continued, "Get it? 'Piece of humor'? 'Peace', 'piece'? Hahaha."
   
    Some leaders see the unifying nature of the joke, cutting across all walks of life in that region, as a useful diplomatic tool. "Short of declaring peace a reality we might as well declare it something," said Israeli minister Shimon Peres, known for his dovish stance on foreign policy.
   
    One illustration of the joke's power was 1994 Nobel Peace Prize awarded to PLO chairman Yassir Arafat, which had middle easterners laughing for a record 7 years.
   
    "The Middle East was where human civilization itself was born, so it's only natural that a joke of this nature would endure for so long," said Yale Middle Eastern Studies Professor Jared Adams.
   
    "The fertile crescent is where the earliest human societies learned to make spanning, massive cooperative relationships and to kick the fucking shit out of one and other."
   
    He explained, "and it also finally beat out that old joke about Darius I and a bed of oysters."