Hello, and welcome to my column! I hope we can all get to know eachother and create some beautiful things together.
   
    Today I answer your questions about sexual preferences. This is a topic that receives a lot of attention, for sure! Several of you have written in, and I have done my best to respond to your queries.
   
   
    Sometimes when I am having sex with my boyfriend, I am really thinking about the soulful music of Celine Dion. Does it mean I am a lesbian?
    -- Woonsocket, RI
   
    Oh, not by a longshot! Celine Dion forms and wields the essence of being a woman, for better or for worse. In fact, while they might deny it, most men love Celine Dion too! to get your boyfriend to admit he likes Celine Dion, just nag him constantly starch his underwear and threaten to withold sex. Being honest makes us feel so much closer.
   
   
    When I am talking to a beautiful woman, my face feels flushed, I start sweating, sometimes I stammer and my penis becomes erect. Am I a lesbian?
    Des Moines, IA
   
    Nervousness, sweating and feeling flush, heavy breathing and penile arousal are all symptoms of attraction! It sounds like you are feeling attracted to other females! Discuss your emotions with your boyfriend, then secretly begin resenting him. Then someday set aside a special night, put on sexy lingerie, put out a lot of scented candles and perfume and kill him in his sleep. That's what I did and it worked wonders for my relationship.
   
   
    I have subcription to several women's magazines. I cut out all the pictures and put the up in my room. My girlfriend thinks I'm crazy, but do you think I might be turning into a lesbian?
    --Reno, NV
   
    Admiring other women is a totally natural thing and all women do it from time to time. The pictures you gaze upon are important reminders that you should look lke that and you're not good enough. Try buying and using more cosmetic products and spend at least 3 hours making yourself up before leaving your house even if it is currently on fire.
   
   
    Help! I was walking to work the other day, and I noticed my inner ear has become lesbianized. What should I do?
    -- Stamford, CT
   
    Scientists have found that certain muscles in the inner ear of homosexual women tend to look more like a man's than a woman's. If you think your inner ear has been masculinized, then there is a good chance you are a lesbian! Try hiring some female prostitutes to take you to a shoe sale to see if you really do like the eaue du femme.
   
   
    Lisa Day is our resident columnist writing about women's issues. She can be contacted at mailto:lisa@dailysedative.com