WASHINGTON, DC -- Today the Supreme Court ruled that executing mentally retarded prisoners was in violation of the 8th Amendment barring cruel and unusual punishment.
    Executing mentally retarded people neither appropriately punishes the criminal nor serves as a deterrent to future crimes, Justice John Paul Stevens wrote for the majority. "Plus, it's retarded," he wrote in summation.
    The decision was reached 6-3, with the court's most conservative members strongly dissenting. "Seldom has an opinion of this court rested so obviously upon nothing but the personal views of its members," wrote Justice Antonin Scalia for the minority. He added, "I love cookies! I like to sing and play. Mraaaa!"