ERFURT, GERMANY -- Today a deranged German student became disoriented and began thinking he was somewhere within the borders of the continental United States. 19 were killed as a result, including the shooter himself in a deadly shootout more bloody than any single American school shooting including the Columbine massacre of 1999. Administrators say the student had been expelled recently, possibly the cause of his dementia.
    "We are at a loss to explain how such a thoughtless, terrible tragedy could occur outside of the United States," said German President Gerhard Schroeder. "Our thoughts and prayers are with the victims, who are in Germany."