RALEIGH, VA -- Christian conservatives struck a major victory when researchers discovered last week that hot, gay cock temporarily cured homosexual desires.
    Biologist Dr. Donald Hemas warned that the cure may be habit-forming, getting too much hot gay cock in your system may only make you want more and more hot gay cock. He added, "Additionally you may need to even receive more hotter and gayer cock to experience the same effects."
    Exodus International, the Christian group that promises "Freedom from homosexuality though Jesus", spokesperson Tom Right said regular injections of the "wonder drug" could "seriously" assuage homosexual desires "for a little while anyways".
    Already a huge grassroots effort is already underway to make these injections available for free in public restrooms and in gay bathhouses across the country.
    Despite its promise, some people are skeptical. Said Brian la Rouche, Palo Alto hairdresser: "No, the cure for homosexuality is blue pants with brown shoes. Yuck."