KABUL -- The only International House of Pancakes in Afghanistan reopened today to massive crowds of screaming citizens.
    The International House of Pancakes, or 'IHP' as it is called by destitute residents, had been forced shut by the harsh interpretation of Islamic law imposed by the ruling Taliban militia. The ministry of vice and virtue considered the presence of boisenberry-flavored maple syrup to be an unholy act of idolatry, and would litter the side of roadways with half-washed silverware and waffles burnt beyond recognition.
    Said one resident, "Now, without the Taliban, anyone can sit in rotting booths next to obese midwesterners and drink all the free coffee they want. Allah be praised."