BOSTON -- Joan Brumberg and Jacquelyn Jackson announced today that women in America are just as oppressed as those living under the Taliban.
    "Women are forced to wear nothing -- bikinis if you will -- just as women in Afghanistan are forced to cover up everything," said Brumberg at a conference, adding "if you do not wear a bikini here, men, with Kalashnikov machine guns, will shoot you."
    Jackson explained, "The men are short, green and have elf-like ears. They are everywhere."