KÖNIGSBERG -- "War seemed to be erupting everywhere else in the world," explained Käiser Otto von Bismark. "I was against it at first, but then my advisors convinced me to undertake this grave, despicable act of war before grave, despicable acts of war start going out of style. Then what are we supposed to do with all these tanks?"
    The French Government has expressed confusion at the declaration, since the nation of Prussia has ceased to exist and its leaders are long dead. "Nevertheless, this aggression will not stand," said President Jacques Chirac.