WASHINGTON, DC -- With the recent discovery of anthrax bacteria infections in anthrax organisms, investigators are baffled by yet another inconceivable twist in a terrifying plot that has apparently still failed to fully unfold. "With anthrax testing positive in places and in people with no apparent connections, we were only waiting for the next surprise," said CDC spokesperson Mary Rayfield, "But frankly this was even beyond our imaginations."
    She said the anthrax had suspicious lesions on its cell walls and outer membranes, leading investigators to believe it was the "cutaneous" or skin form of the disease. It was not at all clear where the anthrax had been exposed to the bacteria, though officials speculate there may be still more contaminated letters circulating in the postal system.
    Much is not known in how anthrax affects itself once infected. The organism hadn't infected anyone in more than 25 years before it was found in a staffer at tabloid publisher American Media, Inc on Sept. 18th.
    Researcers are also still confused about how the cellular organism could have possibly contracted itself internally. "Maybe the organism can absorb the organism in osmosis functions or through cell mitosis," said CNN analyst Dr. Sanjay Gupta. "There is still much to be learned in this area."
    "Communism defeated itself," mused Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE) on Larry King Live, "maybe this proves that terrorism will, too."